Fireproof Your Marriage

When you look at your marriage, or relationship; how do you see it?  Would you say your marriage is weak, strong, or lost somewhere in between?  A few years ago a movie was recommended to me, "Fireproof" starring Kirk Cameron as a must see.  I blew it the movie off as "one of those movies" that was intended for feel good, but not really about real life so I never watched it.  Then in January of last year as my own marriage began to crumble to an end, I remembered the movie and decided to watch it, and so glad that I did..  Fireproof is a powerful movie, it's got action, and drama, love and humor, yet sends a message that YOUR marriage is worth fighting for, and the best way to strengthen and save your marriage is to include God in it. 

The Love Dare
What I loved about the Love Dare, is that it highlights the fact that it really only takes one person to dramatically change a marriage.  The problem with this is that it isn't always an easy thing to do.  In order to change your marriage, you must first transform your heart, and how you view your marriage.  When transforming one's heart is no easy task.  When anger, resentment, and bitterness have been building in a place that was once so full of love, changing one's attitude and humbly changing our own behaviors can be a big mountain to climb.  Transformation of the heart is not an earthly endeavor; it is of divine intervention.  It takes a power beyond our own selves.

Some of the simple, yet potentially powerful actions that were suggested in the Love Dare included things like refraining from saying anything negative to your spouse. The old adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all” still applies. Doing one nice thing today for one’s spouse or calling to check on how he or she is doing were some of the daily Love Dare challenges.

So many valuable pieces of successful marriage practices were seamlessly taught throughout the movie. Pray for your spouse. Listen to your spouse. Invest in your marriage with your time, attention, energy and even money. Study your spouse. Get a bachelor’s, then a master’s, then a doctorate degree in your spouse. Have a never-ending quest to know the heart and soul of your spouse and what makes them tick.

Love is an Action

Love isn’t solely based on a feeling, as Hollywood would have us believe. Love is an action. In marriage, sometimes one or the other or both needs to love even when the love is undeserved.

Love is something you choose to do regardless of the difficulty. In marriage there will inevitably be opportunities to test your meddle and see if you really meant what you said on your wedding day — for better or for worse.

Marriage is a promise. Marriage is a covenant. It is not merely a contract that can be canceled at will. Rich rewards await those who push through the pain of personal growth to overcome the challenges and obstacles that all couples face. Fire is a great analogy used in this movie for the refining fire of marriage.

In one poignant scene Caleb comes to his wits end regarding how he can possibly continue to love when his love is not received. How can he love when his love is rebuffed and rejected? It is then that he awakens to the role Jesus Christ plays in his ability to love his wife, as he must be able to within marriage. It is then that his heart is transformed and softened to a state that makes him capable of loving in the true spirit of love.

Somewhere in the midst of Caleb’s awakening to and acceptance of Christ, there seems to be a transfer of power, such that Caleb is now able to love more so as God loves. It gives new meaning to charity, the pure love of Christ, that suffereth long, is kind, and seeketh not her own. This love that we seek in marriage is the love that God freely gives.

The road to Caleb’s transformation is not easy. It is full of heart-wrenching pain. It is quite obvious that the process is excruciatingly slow. It is easy to see how such a marital journey is quickly abandoned by so many for the seemingly apparent “peace” that divorce deceptively promises.

Practicing What You Preach

For me the cherry on top of this movie is that Kirk Cameron, a committed Christian and obvious believer in the things he learns in the movie, had long ago made a personal pledge to never kiss anyone other than his real wife. That can be a real challenge for any actor.
In trying to beat the not-so-good marital odds that Hollywood offers, Cameron has committed himself to kissing only his wife, Chelsea Noble, who incidentally played his former love interest in “Growing Pains.”
In a scene where Caleb kisses his movie wife, his real wife seamlessly steps in for the smooch. There’s something sexy about a man who can stick to his principles like that. You've got to imagine the peace and the trust his wife is able to have in him even as he works in a profession that is maritally demeaning and downright dangerous.
Cameron’s personal commitment to kiss only his wife illustrates just one of those smart safeguards that keeps couples up on the mountain peaks enjoying the splendor rather than slipping into the ravine below where serious marital recovery is needed.

Fireproof Your Marriage

I encourage everyone to see this movie, and to encourage others to do so as well. Fireproof is great marriage education for our children too. Going into marriage with an understanding that successful marriages take effort, and knowing a few of the keys to marital happiness are a couple of great gifts that we can give our youth.

I hope we will all work to fireproof our marriages, and maybe even fire them up a bit as well! God bless us all to invite Him into our hearts and into our marriages.





credits: Strengthingmarriage.com