The Heart Knows Best

Sitting here thinking, wondering actually... How does one "fall in love?"  I mean, how does it really happen? The truth is, I don't know! What I do know, is that it happened to me almost 10 years ago.  I honestly do not know exactly when I went from liking this sweet girl, to falling head over heels in love with her.

 Having asked several people how they fell in love, was it something that the other person did?  The responses I got were comical, sincere, and although different than the next person I noticed something very similar between each of them..  They all stated, "It was like magic, one day I woke up and realized.  My heart had fallen in love"

Thinking back to when I first met my wife, I liked her almost instantly.  Some time later, about 3 months after we started dating a friend asked me. " Do you love Joy, I mean really love her" I replied, "YES"  I do love her. I can't say it was any one thing, but a collection of things that caused me to fall in love.  I didnt try to fall in love, I wasn't looking for a mate, or to get married for that fact, but it happened.  When it comes to matters of the heart, the heart sometimes does it own thing; it really does know best.

It often easy to fall in love with that special someone; love, relationships, and marriage is like a garden in many ways.  It starts with a seed of love planted in the heart, from that time the couple must tend to that love everyday.  This love must be watered, fed, and often weeded to keep it strong, healthy and growing.  Remember to always take time for your spouse, say I love you, do things for your spouse, often it is the little things that have say "I love you" the most.

For My Joy

How does one fall in love?

I mean, how does it really happen?

Truth is I don't know, what I do know is that 

it happened to me.  

When I see you, I don't want to stop seeing you.

When I look away from you, all I want to do is look 

back and find you.  When I look back on my life before you,

none of it made sense, until I found you. 

You brought purpose back into my life, someone I could

believe in. Someone who made me a better person,

because you loved me!  My love, my life forever yours!

God Bless and Keep you all,

Jesse Adams, Blogger

The Plain Truth

Spreading Manure

About a decade ago, when my wife and I had just started dating; I would make the long drive to spend the weekend with her family.  She lived on a small country farm atop a hill over looking a HUGE hay meadow and cow pasture. Just acres & acres of rolling hills and country side. At the back of the property in a small home lived her Grandfather. I would stay with him on the weekends that I was there. Normally drive up on a Friday evening, go out for dinner with my sweetheart and then back to her house.  Often times we would sit on the swing and talk about our hopes and dreams, then other times we would gather with her family and play a game together. Saturday mornings her dad would have planned out chores for the family to do before we could go off and do our thing, Normally the chores included house work, or outside chores like weeding the garden and such.  One Friday around lunch time, Joy (my wife) called me, said that she had alot to get done the next day around the house, and didnt want to bore me so if I didnt have to come over that weekend.  I just wanted to spend time with her, it had already five (5) whole days since I had seen her and felt like a century.  :-)  I asked if she mind if I just came on over, I would even help do whatever.  Man, was I in for a surprise the next morning.  I woke up, hurried to her house for her mom had prepared the usual Saturday morning breakfast of eggs, bacon/sausage, biscuits and gravy.  During breakfast her dat told her that she needed to spread that huge pile of horse manure throughout the garden before we left for the day.  He planned to start plowing and needed it done before he could start.  I sat in silence, waiting to see her reaction.  She tried to talk her dat out of it, but no, it had to be done.  I told her, I was a country boy and would help her out.  :-)

After we finished our breakfast, I changed into some old clothes and to the garden we went.  The pile of manure was huge, moist, and yes smelled something awful.  We grabbed our shovels and started filling the buckets. One by one we would scatter the buckets of manure around the garden.  Sometime later, as we both started sweating, and getting tired we decided to make it more fun....  Joy took a shovel of manure and flung it at me, hitting me in the face, I was stunned for a moment, then started laughing..  It was all over after that.  We grabbed buckets, handfuls, and shovel fulls of manure and chased each other around the garden..  Before we knew it, the pile was nearly all gone, and by that time she and I were covered in manure..  I told her to go ahead and go inside to get a shower, while I finished the work.

I always wondered if this was a tactic of her dat's to scare me off, or see if I would stick around.  Will not ever really know, but what I do know is that we had a blast that day.  We made memories, and the best of a  stinky situation.   All this got me to thinking, sometimes we have those days when it seems we are surrounded by manure.  There is nothing you can do to change the situation, or to avoid doing that "chore."   What does matter is how you handle that situation.  You can either let it whip you, and tear you down, or you can take it in stride and enjoy life.  Know that God is in control and everything will turn out just fine..

Thanks for reading, and until next time, God Bless!!

Jesse Adams, Blogger
The Plain Truth

God or Religion?

Recently at work, I had the pleasure of working with a plain woman, who is also a nurse.  During dinner a few of us, including Mariam were sitting around chatting.  I asked Mariam, are you Amish, or Mennonite?  Her reply was, I am neither, I am a plain woman of faith.  Mariam, continued by telling us about her beliefs, and how she was born Lutheran, but during her teen years felt there must be more I can do.  She then started seeking guidance from God.  This search lead Mariam and her family to become plain.  She states, "I am a woman of faith, I worship God, and do my best to please God in all areas of my life."

Later, Mariam asked the question, "When you see me dressed this way, what descriptive words come to mind?"  As each of the other nurses said things like, unique, different, old fashion, I really thought about my answer..  My reply was, Mariam, you look modest, honest, humble, and a woman of faith. 

I have really been thinking about this topic since then.  I know we have all heard the saying,   "Man looks on the outside, but God sees the heart."  While this is true, I believe, what is showing on the outside, is a reflection of what is in the heart.  As a child, I was raised in a very conservative pentecostal home.  From an early age, I could tell you our beliefs, how we were to dress, etc, but couldnt tell you exactly why.   In my teen years, I started searching the Bible, and learning for myself; even now I am still learning, and letting God show me his ways.  Being modest on the outside may be different for each of us.  While one person may only wear long sleeves, long pants or dresses another person may wear short sleeves, or a shorter dress or pant.  I do think that women's dress, or a man's shorts should come to or below the knee, and sleeves length is a personal choice as long as they are decent/modest.  However, this is my belief, one that I have sought out to be true for myself.

I do not believe that a church, or anyone has the right or authority to dictate what another person should or should not wear.  Pastors, Bishops, and Ministers may preach or teach the Bible but NOTHING MORE.  The Bible does not instruct us on measurements of clothing, or an exact telling of what modest attire is.  We must let God teach & show us these things.  Even during my marriage, there have been times when I would ask my wife not to wear certain things in public. This was not an instruction not too, but a request. I, as her husband thought it to be indecent, and disrespectful.  My wife agreed and didnt wear it, but had she insisted I would not have forced the issue.  We should pray for our spouses, that God will show them what is modest.  Before, I go much further, I will say, I do think that women can be modest in pants as well.  If that is what she chooses to wear.  People are so quick to quote the scripture, "Women shalt not wear that which is for man"  If we go back to the time, and era that scripture was written; men wore robes, and women a modest dress.  The materials were somewhat different, and men would wear a rope or twine around the waist. Women did not have this waist piece, and usually wore a head covering.  In some cultures, even the man wore a head covering as well.  Pants did not come about for hundreds of years later.

I pray no one is too offended by this post, but if it does offend you, please pray about it.  Ask God to teach you his ways, and show you his truths.

Until Then, God Bless
Jesse Adams, Blogger
The Plain Truth

My Dad's Better

Three boys were debating whose father was the best.  The first started the debate by claiming his father knew the mayor.  He was soon topped by the second boy who said "Thats nothing, my dad knows the governor." The stakes were getting pretty high, and the eavesdropping father wondered what his young son would say about him.  The little boy shot back, "So what!  My dad knows God!

Could your son say that?  May our children always be able to say, "My dad knows God!!"

God Bless & Keep You!
Jesse Adams, Blogger
The Plain Truth

PAID IN FULL

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper and handed her a piece of paper.  After she dried her hands she read...

Cutting the grass: $5.00
Cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
Going to the store for you: $0.50
Babysitting my kid brother while you went shopping:  $0.25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
Getting a good report card: $5.00
Raking the yard: $2.00
Total Owed:  $14.75

His mother looked at him, and the boy could see memories flashing through her mind.
She picked up the pen, turned over the paper, and wrote.

For nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me:  No Charge
For all the nights that I have sat up with you, doctored you, and prayed for you you:
No Charge
For all the trying times and all the tears you've caused me through the years, and for the worries
I knew were ahead:  No Charge.
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge!
Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is:  NO CHARGE!

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked
straight at her and said...  Mom, I sure do love you.  Then he took the pen, and in great big letters wrote:

PAID IN FULL!!

New Beginnings

Each Spring I look around as the new buds begin to bloom, the grass turns a bright, and tender green.  The birds are busy building new homes for their young.  All around us are signs of a new beginning.  This year Spring brought a new surprise for me... The end of my marriage, and a new beginning to a life I have never known... one as a single father, and a divorced man...  Having spent a third of my life married to my best friend & lover, it is difficult to find myself, and know where or what to do now...  I have always had my wife there to share in the good things, the bad things, and just knowing she was always there for me...

I have always been told that marriage teaches you so many lessons; you learn now to be accountable to someone, you learn to trust another person with your life, and theirs with you, respect, honesty, and so much more.. It is my belief that divorce teaches you many more valuable lessons...  Never take your spouse for granted, value the trust and love you both share, once it is gone, it is almost impossible to build again.  One of the most important lessons learned, is forgiveness.  It is not easy to forgive your spouse for the divorce, the years of hurt, of loss and broken trust.  Forgiveness is the key to starting over, you must forgive not only your spouse, but yourself as well.

Since my separation a few months ago; I have learned the value of therapy and counseling.  Having someone to talk to that is not emotionally attached to the situation, and not bias to either party has proven to be a great asset.  I recommend anyone having issues within their marriage or relationship to seek help thru a counselor or therapist.  Do not make the crucial mistake of talking to family members, or mutual friends of your spouse about the problems in your marriage.  This will only lead to more hurt feelings arguments; plus you often get the wrong advice anyways...

What about the children?  A question many couples do not consider, they are so caught up in the hurt, anger and disappointments of the loss of their marriage they do not notice how it effects the children.  No matter how much you may try to protect them, the children go thru the divorce too, but on a different level.  Be mindful of how you conduct yourself around your children. Don't talk down your spouse in the presence of your children to anyone, and especially not to them.  No matter how you may feel about your spouse, it is your duty to continue to love your children, and protect them.  Remember, your children may even start acting out, unwanted behavior is often how children cope with negative change.  Be patient with them, talk with them, let them know it is ok to be angry, but have some ground rules and consequences in place if those rules aren't  followed.  My wife and I have tried hard to remain on speaking terms, and even friends. We still spend time together with our son, Jaxon to help ease him thru this transition.  I love my wife, more than anything, and one day we may be back together, only God knows what our future holds.

I hope this blog has been of some help to someone, I will be writing more in the future on these topics, and sharing ideas.  If you have questions, or comments on this post... Please email me, plaintruth04@gmail.com   I am not an expert on divorce, marriage and relationships, but I do have experience in all three areas. :-)

Until next time, God Bless!

Jesse Adams, Blogger
The Plain Truth

One Boy, One Girl

Lately, I have been thinking about my marriage, and the ups and downs my wife and I have encountered in the past 9 years, and where we are now.  I remember when I first met my wife. Joy, as if it was just yesterday.  It was Thanksgiving of 2001, at the Jersey Holiness Church fellowship meeting.  The church I was attending at that time had come to show our support during the fellowship services.  It was on that Friday after Thanksgiving as some of the young unmarried folks were gathering after service and deciding on where we would all go out to eat at.  There was about 9 of us total in the group, a mutual friend was actually trying to introduce me to a single young lady in the group. (not Joy).  I was not really interested in her, I did however take notice to a certain, reserved young lady sitting at the other end of the table. She didnt speak a word during the meal, at least not to me, but something about her struck my interest.  I began to ask questions to my friend as to who she was, was she dating, etc.  I was told she was a great person, only about 17 years old, a good christian young lady, the daughter to one of the deacons in the church.  I had to know more, and to get to know her.  All the next day, I thought about her, and watched for her to come into the church the next night for service.  There she was, radiant, beautiful, and appeared slightly nervous all at the same time. After service, we once again gathered to go eat, this time we rode with Joy.  There was four of us packed into her little car, she was driving.  Which that is a totally different topic, yes she scared me..  haha.  That night we sat next to each other at the Chinese Palace buffet joint.  We chatted about nothing really, but did exchange email addresses, phone numbers, etc.  That was the last night I saw Joy until January 17, 2002, at which time I made the 90 minute drive to visit her church. I spent the weekend with a friend, and attended church with them on Sunday.  After the morning service, I had the pleasure of meeting her mother, and younger brother. Her father was operating the sound booth so I didnt meet him at that time.  I knew little about her, or her family, but knew she was special enough for me to get to know more.  From that time I would come over to visit several times a month.  I would usually spend the Sunday afternoons with her family.  They were all wonderful, and opened their home to me.  We didnt get to see each other during the week as she moved to north Ga to her sister's so that she could attend college.  We sent emails, spent hours talking at night, and learned more about each other.  I had already started praying, seeking God's will in this blooming relationship.  It wasnt long till I knew I had fallen in love with Joy.  I would spend the weekends with her family at least twice a month.  We had so much fun, her family was down to earth folks, just like I was raised.    Just about 12 weeks after we started "dating" we were out eating on a Friday night when I told her how much I loved her, and that I wanted to marry her by the next year.  I remember, she smiled and replied, " I would like that too."  The following weeks were a wreck for me, as I prepared myself to talk with her parents and ask for her hand in marriage.  Her father did not make it easy for me that evening, he knew what my plans were. haha.  I came into the den of their home, her mom was sitting in a chair, her father at the computer playing his card game on the computer.  The four of us sat in silence for what seemed like forever.  I finally found my voice, I announced, I have something to talk to you about, and to ask you.  Her father never turned around, his reply was "ok" After telling him that I had asked his daughter to marry me, and she had said yes.  He turned around, a very serious, fatherly look in his eye.  For the next 45 minutes he gave us both the speech about how serious marriage was, something God had created and for us both to seek his will completely.  Finally he spoke the words, if we were certain that we believed this to be God's will he gave his blessings.  Whew!! 
Over the following months many things occurred, We had not set a date for the wedding, other than knowing it would be the following year, Spring time we hoped.  We had to jump many hurdles, and go around obstacles in our way, till it seemed that we would not even get married.  I couldnt imagine the thought of not spending the rest of my life without my best friend, my soul mate.  Finally after much thought, planning, and tears we decided on a simple wedding at the court house in Anniston, Alabama. On January 14, 2003 we made the trip across the state lines to make our vows to each other, and to God to love each other, no matter what, for the rest of our lives.  During the past 9 years we have had many hardships, battles, and yes great times too. For years we prayed and wanted children, and doctor after doctor told us that conceiving was probably not an option, we should consider adoption.  However, we both wanted a child of our own, we prayed for years and begged God to bless us with a child.  Then, in 2009 God showed us mercy, we were expecting our first child, who was born in March 2010.  He was perfect, and has been my pride and joy ever since.  I can not thank God enough for his many blessings. 

Although currently we are facing a stormy battle, one I never pictured us to be in, I am still holding onto God, knowing he will work it out for our good....  My vows to my wife are just as precious, real to me today, as they were 9 years ago.  My love for my wife, and son is unbreakable, I will alway love my wife, and be in love with her always.  I want to spend the rest of my life proving to her that just how much I do love her!!  Please keep us in your prayers as we face and continue thru this current battle.  Thanks

Little Eyes Upon You!

I dedicate this poem to my son.  There are little eyes upon us each day, ever moment. They want to be like us as they grow older. It is our duty as fathers, and mothers to raise our children up in the ways of our lord.  Not only to teach them a Godly life by example, but good morals as well.  It is my daily prayer to be a father and a man, my son would one day be proud of and be just like.    Enjoy the poem!

There are little eyes upon you, and they are watching night and day. 
There are also little ears, that quickly take in every word that you say,
There are little hands, all eager to do anything you do;
and a little boy, who is dreaming of the day he'll be just like you.

You are the little fellow's idol, you are the wisest of the wise.
In his little mind, about you.... No suspicions ever arise.
He believes in you devoutly, holds all you say and do.
He will say and do in your way, when he's grown up just like you.

There's a wide eyed little fellow, who believes you are always right;
and his eyes are always open, and he watches day and night.
You are setting an example, everyday....  and in all you do;
For the little boy who is waiting, to grow up to be like you!!

I love you Jaxon David Adams, I hope you know just how much, and that there is nothing Daddy will not do for you.  I hope as you continue to grow up you will always come to me, and to look up to me.  I pray that I will be Godly example to you, and my life will reflect Christ to you as your savior. God has given you two of the best parents, we may have failed in many ways, but our love for you is strong, and nothing can break that love we share for you.  With all my love, Daddy!!

Going THRU a Storm

For some time now we have been going thru a trial, one that has tested every part of my heart, and soul.  I have prayed and prayed and no answer came.  I felt like Daniel in the Bible when he prayed for 21 days and heard nothing.  Although, my trial has lasted past the 21 day mark, I still struggled.  It was just a few weeks ago at the lowest point that I actually caved below the burden, and on my knees a place I should have been to start, is where I first heard from God.
Two Sunday services ago, Pastor Mark preached about going thru a trial, one like you have never seen before. I knew it was to me.  He said that you can either let this tear you down, or you can praise him all the way thru the storm.  Well I am praising God for victory, I do not know when it will be here, I do not how the outcome will be, I do know what God has said, and that is word is true.  I have to trust in his promises!!
Sometimes to get to where  you need to be, you must obey him, and there are steps to get back to the top and I am climbing those steps one at a time.  God has given me songs of praise and promise during this trial, and I know and trust him to work it out.
This blog post may not make much sense to some of you, but it does come my heart.  If I can get going forward in the midst of this storm, SO CAN YOU!  Remember when you feel the waves crashing over you, and you feel you are about to go under, be reminded, that you life guard walks on water..
Love and Peace,
Jesse Adams

PS Please continue to hold my family up in prayers before God. We do need his strength and guidance. Thank you!!

God, Marriage, & Family

I want to first say, how much I love my wife..  I have not been the perfect husband, I have my faults just as everyone does.  God has really been dealing with me on some things lately and I am praying and seeking his will.  I know God's will, but the path is not clear, all I can do is pray and believe he will make a way.  

Over the past several months I have really been thinking about God's divine order and his destiny for us.  This got me to doing some research.  A very wise man, my wife's Grandfather Beck was a great man of God. He had so many stories to share; many were life experiences in his 93 years on this earth.  One thing that has always stuck with me is he would always say, "Marriage is the first and greatest institution that God has ever created" I am finding this to be so true.  God first made Adam and Eve, establishing the first marriage, and then later told them to reproduce.    Please continue to read, I hope that you will find this post helpful, and please email me with  any thoughts or comments I would love to get your feedback.  Plaintruth04@gmail.com

I got this article online. Please note, I didnt write this article, and I have edited some of it, by deleting parts that I do not agree with. There are still some I don't completely believe with, yet in a combined effort the article is good advice. Please note, wife is used alot in this article, but husbands we need to place ourselves in this too.  You want love, and respect from your wives?  Then you give them the love and respect, and they will give it back to you. (maybe)  I am NOT wife beating with this article, I want to show how marriages are under attack now days.   

 This is God's divine order:

1. God

2. Marriage

3. Family

4. Church (ministry)

5. Government

This is God's divine plan, plain and simple.  Mix these up and you've got major problems.  Before God ever created the church, He created the family.  Before God ever created the family, He created the marriage.  Before God created anything, He was!  A cult tries to reverse this divine order.  It is so critical for you to understand God's divine order.  So many people have destroyed their own lives because they didn't understand God's divine order.  I sure hope someone's listening, it could save your marriage!

What does all this mean?  I'll get right to the heart-of-the-matter... many people make the mistake of placing the church before their family.  Please read the rest of this article before you criticize me.  I love the church.  I am not trying to diminish the church.  I am simply saying that the church should never come before your family.  I am simply saying that the family should never come before your marriage.  I am simply saying that your marriage should never come before God.  Please continue reading to fully understand what I am saying. 

Many wives place their family before their husband.  This is not good.  Many marriages have been destroyed by a meddling mother-in-law.  The same is true of the husband.  Your wife married you, not your mother.  Tell your mother to kindly mind her own business. 

Many marriages have been destroyed by people at church.  It's often a single or divorced women who's trying to talk a wife into leaving her husband.  I've seen this even at church.  People are people―just because they're church members doesn't mean they're above giving bad advice.  There are quite a few home-wreckers in this world.  They've  ruined their own marriage and now they want to ruin yours too.  A husband and wife must renew their commitments to each often.

Many Christians have been persecuted (and prosecuted) because the government interfered with the church.  Even now, many states are seeking to eliminate tax-exemption status for churches.  Many families have been destroyed by the government (especially through CPS/DCFS).   The church must come before the government in matters of faith, education and our children.  On and on, we see the consequences of reversing God's order.  It was never the government's responsibility to educate our children.  It's not their responsibility today!  Uncle Sam has no right to oversee the education of my child.  The government has no business forcing me to drug my child.  The government has no business telling me where I can or cannot protest against them.  I have a First Amendment right to legally protest against my government.  This is not anarchy, this is my legal right.

Whereas the Bible seeks to strengthen marriages, families and churches... the Devil works to destroy them (John 10:10). 

Christians sometimes let their guard down and forget this fact.  There is a dangerous tendency in churches for women to idolize the pastor above their own husband.  This is not good!  Some women have even given their pastor control (veto power) instead of their own husband.  This is sin!  It is wrong and sinful for a woman to idolize her pastor above her own husband.  A husband should KNOW that his wife thinks he's the ONLY and best man in the world as far as she's concerned.    I don't care if your husband isn't what he should be (no man is), this is God's divine order.  Read the following verses...

 "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." -Matthew 19:6

 "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." -Mark 10:9

Did you read that? ... "let not man put asunder."  It's as simple as that folks!  Nothing but nothing should ever come between husband and wife... nothing!  No person or group should ever separate a husband and wife.  Notice that nowhere in the Bible does it say that God has joined us to our family, our neighbors or our church.  God has only joined the husband and wife, thus it is to be the strongest of all relationships.  Unfortunately, society has launched an all-out attack on the marriage.  Government tax laws (and many other laws) penalize people for being married.  Married people are disqualified from certain benefits; thus, many couples refuse to marry.  The government discourages marriage. 

In addition, the courts are often unfair in a divorce.  The lawyers and judges make out like bandits, but the couple loses.  Bankruptcy often follows divorce.  It is a shame that America has the highest divorce rate in the world. 

Society also hurts marriages through incarceration.   The Bible teaches either restitution or execution (depending upon the crime).  There were no prisons in Israel during early Old Testament times.  It is wrong to separate a husband and wife.  God never intended for humans to be caged like animals.   It is unfair for a wife to suffer because her husband goes to prison for life.  The Bible says she is committing adultery if she remarries (Matthew 5:32).  So what does she do?  The same is true with the husband, what is he to do if his wife is taken away from him for a life sentence in prison?  It is happening right now in America!  It was the heathen world that created prisons as a means of obtaining free labor, which is still happening in some places in America today.  Prisons are big business!  God did not create prisons.  It is man's own wickedness that has made the entire planet a big prison.  So again, no one should ever come between a husband and wife!  

"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." -Mark 10:9

You ladies should be careful not to brag about your pastor in front of your husband.  In fact, you should make it a habit to brag on your husband in front of your pastor.  You husbands should brag on your wives too.  This is loyalty!  We should brag on each other.  If you brag on your pastor more than your husband, you are making a foolish mistake!  I don't care if your husband is a drunk!  Does he pay the bills?  Does he do anything good?  Sure he does!  Everyone has good and bad habits.  You brag on what "good" there is and see how he falls in love with you.  At a minimum, he'll know you truly love him and admire him.  Go to your husband and let him know that you're glad God made him.  You husbands do the same with your wives.  Today may be your last day alive (or theirs).  Every wife should brag on her husband.  Let him know that NO MAN, not even your pastor, means more to you than him.  You let your husband know that he OWNS you and you OWN him.  This is what the Bible teaches!

"The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife." -1st Corinthians 7:4

  Another man does NOT have a right to touch you in any way ladies.  No man has that right except your hubby.  Don't let another man ever place his hand on your arm, shoulder or back.  There's no such thing as a man innocently placing his hand on another woman whom he's not married to!   He's disrespecting you!  He's taking liberties that BELONG only to your husband.  If you think this is silly, you are playing with the Devil's fire.  I am simply saying that you had better keep your guard up, even at church where we're prone to let it down. 

TOO MUCH trust in one or more of these men.  Don't do it!  I like the saying, "Be nice to everybody, but trust no one!"  I'm going to make a very good statement here...

If you and your spouse are not the best of friends after ten years of marriage, something is very wrong!

This means that no one should be able to divide your marriage!  This means that your mother knows she is on the outside looking in... where she belongs!  This means that you're NOT closer friends with someone at church, work, et cetera.  It's sad that a woman would be closer to her employer than to her own husband (but this is all too common).  Many wives have run off with their manager, coworker, or associate.  This is wicked!  By the way, I believe that a mother's place is in the home.  The Apostle Paul gives this godly advice in 1st Timothy 5:14-15...

 "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.  For some are already turned aside after Satan." -1st Timothy 5:14-15

  In Japan, couples have been putting off having children so much to pursue their own careers that the population of Japan's youth is fast decreasing.  The Japanese government is taking drastic steps to encourage couples to have children.  Can you imagine a society that is so advanced that people don't even have the time to raise children anymore?  How crazy!  In America, people have children but then spent little or no time with them, this is equally wrong.  I haven't worked overtime in years.  Do I owe money?  Of course, but my days off are for my family.  I refuse to live for money.  The greatest things in life are not things!  No one ever looks back over their life and thinks, "Gee, I wish I would have spent more time at the job working."  No, rather, people think to themselves, "I sure wish I had spent more time with my family."  Do it now, so you don't have to regret it later! 

I've mentioned the workplace because the government is interfering with the family by forcing mothers to go to work.  The wicked Federal Reserve System (owned and operated by rich and powerful private bankers) has deliberately placed the American people into lifetime debt.  We can never seem to make ends meet because the greedy rich men who control this country want to keep us in debt.  They control interest rates, inflation, and our buying power.  MOST American people and big companies are in debt.  We have to pay for three houses just to get one because of outrageous interest rates.  The Central Bank could cause another Great Depression over night simply by greatly increasing the money supply.  More money means less buying power.  Thus, to be able to live anywhere above poverty, BOTH parents are FORCED to go to work (even still, families are having a tougher time making it).  Bankruptcy's are at an all-time high.  Property forfeitures have sky-rocketed.  We don't have some of the things we would like to have, but we have food on the table.    We live simple.

The U.S. Constitution declares that congress (the people we vote into office) are supposed to control our money, not independently wealthy private bankers.  The government is not only interfering with families, they're destroying them.  Child Protection Services is a nightmare all across America!  Parents are losing their children.  Hilary Clinton's lousy book, "It takes a village," is another example of how the government wants to interfere with the family.  It is not the government's responsibility to tell us how to raise our children.  We don't want their help!  It doesn't take a village!  A child needs loving parents, no more.  God's divine order places the government at the BOTTOM of the list.  The government was created to preserve our way of life, i.e., to protect our property, person and freedom!   It's NOT the government's purpose to interfere with our churches, families or marriages. 

 The family has NO right to interfere with the marriage.  The first and foremost institution which God ever ordained was the marriage.  How sad that marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper to so many people today.  How sad that so many people only plan to stay married for five years or so and move on.  I heard a man once say that he only wanted to be married to a women for five years, then find another.  This is progressive adultery.  Marriage is supposed to be a commitment for life... 'til death do us part.  To do otherwise is to disobey God's laws and commit adultery.

I hope that this article will open your eyes to several things:

First, don't allow your family  to meddle in your marriage... it's none of their business.  Don't let your family control your wedding―don't let them run or ruin your marriage.  One of the number one causes of divorce is a foolish and meddling family member. 

Second, don't allow your church to control your family.  The church is a "called out assembly" of believers, a place where Christians meet, a headquarters for soulwinning.  The church has NO power over the family or the marriage.  Your marriage is nobody's business!  If you counsel with an elder at the church, be aware that they may give you some bad advice... it happens all the time.  Take advice with a grain of salt.  Think and look before you leap!  If you jump out of the frying pan, you may end up in the fire instead. 

 I'm simply saying, be careful who you talk to!  When these women poison your mind with garbage, and cause you to hurt your husband, they still have their marriage but you just ruined yours.  I've seen this happen.  People talk you into hurting your husband with the police, unkind words, leaving home, filing for separation, etc... but they would never do such a thing to their own husband!  And then to add insult to injury, they don't even call you back to see how your doing after they gave you a knife to stab your husband with.  This is how rotten people can be...  The bottom line is, seek counsel from God's Word... not people.  If you do go to someone, be very careful who you go to, and what you do with their advice.  Remember what God says...

"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." -Mark 10:9

Do you want to know the best place to seek marriage counseling?  Go find an older couple who has been married for over 30 years, who has raised a successful family, who has "been there and done that."  I'm always sickened how some young woman with no children will advise a mother how to care for her children.  Just learn to say, "shut up!"  A woman who's been married for only five years should NOT counsel with an "expert" who's only been married for ten years.  You younger wives and mothers are foolish to counsel with a younger wife or mother.  Don't do it!  You find a woman who's KEPT her husband for thirty or forty years... that's the woman you need to go see.  If you want to succeed at something, find a person who has successfully done what you want to do and then go ask them how they did it.  If they're where you want to be, ask them how they got there.  Don't ask the person who never did it.  Don't ask the person who's trying to do it.  You go ask somebody who's done it!  Most advice today is given by people who have little experience (especially in the secular world).  Five years is no experience at all in my book, I'm talking twenty or more years.  Christianity is not measured in months or even years, but in decades.  You show me where you're at in your Christian life 10-years from now, and then I'll know if you're genuine or not. 

Let's look at God's divine order once more:

1. God

2. Marriage

3. Family

4. Church (ministry)

5. Government

So in closing... there is a divine order.  Mix the order up and you've got big problems. 

By the way, when people say to you, "How is your spouse treating you?"  You reply by saying, "WE are doing just fine!"  Learn to use the words, "us," "we" and "our."  Never let someone come between you and your spouse, not even in conversation.  This is good stuff here!  Satan wants to destroy your marriage, family and church.  You must protect yourself.  Never let anyone bad mouth your spouse, your family, your pastor or your church.  Tell them you don't want to hear it!  Learn to say, "Shut up!"  It's about time we started obeying the Bible and butting out of things that are NOT our business.  Mind your own back yard!  God bless you and I hope I have helped you a bit.

Kindest regards,

Dave