The Heart Knows Best

Sitting here thinking, wondering actually... How does one "fall in love?"  I mean, how does it really happen? The truth is, I don't know! What I do know, is that it happened to me almost 10 years ago.  I honestly do not know exactly when I went from liking this sweet girl, to falling head over heels in love with her.

 Having asked several people how they fell in love, was it something that the other person did?  The responses I got were comical, sincere, and although different than the next person I noticed something very similar between each of them..  They all stated, "It was like magic, one day I woke up and realized.  My heart had fallen in love"

Thinking back to when I first met my wife, I liked her almost instantly.  Some time later, about 3 months after we started dating a friend asked me. " Do you love Joy, I mean really love her" I replied, "YES"  I do love her. I can't say it was any one thing, but a collection of things that caused me to fall in love.  I didnt try to fall in love, I wasn't looking for a mate, or to get married for that fact, but it happened.  When it comes to matters of the heart, the heart sometimes does it own thing; it really does know best.

It often easy to fall in love with that special someone; love, relationships, and marriage is like a garden in many ways.  It starts with a seed of love planted in the heart, from that time the couple must tend to that love everyday.  This love must be watered, fed, and often weeded to keep it strong, healthy and growing.  Remember to always take time for your spouse, say I love you, do things for your spouse, often it is the little things that have say "I love you" the most.

For My Joy

How does one fall in love?

I mean, how does it really happen?

Truth is I don't know, what I do know is that 

it happened to me.  

When I see you, I don't want to stop seeing you.

When I look away from you, all I want to do is look 

back and find you.  When I look back on my life before you,

none of it made sense, until I found you. 

You brought purpose back into my life, someone I could

believe in. Someone who made me a better person,

because you loved me!  My love, my life forever yours!

God Bless and Keep you all,

Jesse Adams, Blogger

The Plain Truth

Spreading Manure

About a decade ago, when my wife and I had just started dating; I would make the long drive to spend the weekend with her family.  She lived on a small country farm atop a hill over looking a HUGE hay meadow and cow pasture. Just acres & acres of rolling hills and country side. At the back of the property in a small home lived her Grandfather. I would stay with him on the weekends that I was there. Normally drive up on a Friday evening, go out for dinner with my sweetheart and then back to her house.  Often times we would sit on the swing and talk about our hopes and dreams, then other times we would gather with her family and play a game together. Saturday mornings her dad would have planned out chores for the family to do before we could go off and do our thing, Normally the chores included house work, or outside chores like weeding the garden and such.  One Friday around lunch time, Joy (my wife) called me, said that she had alot to get done the next day around the house, and didnt want to bore me so if I didnt have to come over that weekend.  I just wanted to spend time with her, it had already five (5) whole days since I had seen her and felt like a century.  :-)  I asked if she mind if I just came on over, I would even help do whatever.  Man, was I in for a surprise the next morning.  I woke up, hurried to her house for her mom had prepared the usual Saturday morning breakfast of eggs, bacon/sausage, biscuits and gravy.  During breakfast her dat told her that she needed to spread that huge pile of horse manure throughout the garden before we left for the day.  He planned to start plowing and needed it done before he could start.  I sat in silence, waiting to see her reaction.  She tried to talk her dat out of it, but no, it had to be done.  I told her, I was a country boy and would help her out.  :-)

After we finished our breakfast, I changed into some old clothes and to the garden we went.  The pile of manure was huge, moist, and yes smelled something awful.  We grabbed our shovels and started filling the buckets. One by one we would scatter the buckets of manure around the garden.  Sometime later, as we both started sweating, and getting tired we decided to make it more fun....  Joy took a shovel of manure and flung it at me, hitting me in the face, I was stunned for a moment, then started laughing..  It was all over after that.  We grabbed buckets, handfuls, and shovel fulls of manure and chased each other around the garden..  Before we knew it, the pile was nearly all gone, and by that time she and I were covered in manure..  I told her to go ahead and go inside to get a shower, while I finished the work.

I always wondered if this was a tactic of her dat's to scare me off, or see if I would stick around.  Will not ever really know, but what I do know is that we had a blast that day.  We made memories, and the best of a  stinky situation.   All this got me to thinking, sometimes we have those days when it seems we are surrounded by manure.  There is nothing you can do to change the situation, or to avoid doing that "chore."   What does matter is how you handle that situation.  You can either let it whip you, and tear you down, or you can take it in stride and enjoy life.  Know that God is in control and everything will turn out just fine..

Thanks for reading, and until next time, God Bless!!

Jesse Adams, Blogger
The Plain Truth

God or Religion?

Recently at work, I had the pleasure of working with a plain woman, who is also a nurse.  During dinner a few of us, including Mariam were sitting around chatting.  I asked Mariam, are you Amish, or Mennonite?  Her reply was, I am neither, I am a plain woman of faith.  Mariam, continued by telling us about her beliefs, and how she was born Lutheran, but during her teen years felt there must be more I can do.  She then started seeking guidance from God.  This search lead Mariam and her family to become plain.  She states, "I am a woman of faith, I worship God, and do my best to please God in all areas of my life."

Later, Mariam asked the question, "When you see me dressed this way, what descriptive words come to mind?"  As each of the other nurses said things like, unique, different, old fashion, I really thought about my answer..  My reply was, Mariam, you look modest, honest, humble, and a woman of faith. 

I have really been thinking about this topic since then.  I know we have all heard the saying,   "Man looks on the outside, but God sees the heart."  While this is true, I believe, what is showing on the outside, is a reflection of what is in the heart.  As a child, I was raised in a very conservative pentecostal home.  From an early age, I could tell you our beliefs, how we were to dress, etc, but couldnt tell you exactly why.   In my teen years, I started searching the Bible, and learning for myself; even now I am still learning, and letting God show me his ways.  Being modest on the outside may be different for each of us.  While one person may only wear long sleeves, long pants or dresses another person may wear short sleeves, or a shorter dress or pant.  I do think that women's dress, or a man's shorts should come to or below the knee, and sleeves length is a personal choice as long as they are decent/modest.  However, this is my belief, one that I have sought out to be true for myself.

I do not believe that a church, or anyone has the right or authority to dictate what another person should or should not wear.  Pastors, Bishops, and Ministers may preach or teach the Bible but NOTHING MORE.  The Bible does not instruct us on measurements of clothing, or an exact telling of what modest attire is.  We must let God teach & show us these things.  Even during my marriage, there have been times when I would ask my wife not to wear certain things in public. This was not an instruction not too, but a request. I, as her husband thought it to be indecent, and disrespectful.  My wife agreed and didnt wear it, but had she insisted I would not have forced the issue.  We should pray for our spouses, that God will show them what is modest.  Before, I go much further, I will say, I do think that women can be modest in pants as well.  If that is what she chooses to wear.  People are so quick to quote the scripture, "Women shalt not wear that which is for man"  If we go back to the time, and era that scripture was written; men wore robes, and women a modest dress.  The materials were somewhat different, and men would wear a rope or twine around the waist. Women did not have this waist piece, and usually wore a head covering.  In some cultures, even the man wore a head covering as well.  Pants did not come about for hundreds of years later.

I pray no one is too offended by this post, but if it does offend you, please pray about it.  Ask God to teach you his ways, and show you his truths.

Until Then, God Bless
Jesse Adams, Blogger
The Plain Truth

My Dad's Better

Three boys were debating whose father was the best.  The first started the debate by claiming his father knew the mayor.  He was soon topped by the second boy who said "Thats nothing, my dad knows the governor." The stakes were getting pretty high, and the eavesdropping father wondered what his young son would say about him.  The little boy shot back, "So what!  My dad knows God!

Could your son say that?  May our children always be able to say, "My dad knows God!!"

God Bless & Keep You!
Jesse Adams, Blogger
The Plain Truth

PAID IN FULL

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper and handed her a piece of paper.  After she dried her hands she read...

Cutting the grass: $5.00
Cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
Going to the store for you: $0.50
Babysitting my kid brother while you went shopping:  $0.25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
Getting a good report card: $5.00
Raking the yard: $2.00
Total Owed:  $14.75

His mother looked at him, and the boy could see memories flashing through her mind.
She picked up the pen, turned over the paper, and wrote.

For nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me:  No Charge
For all the nights that I have sat up with you, doctored you, and prayed for you you:
No Charge
For all the trying times and all the tears you've caused me through the years, and for the worries
I knew were ahead:  No Charge.
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge!
Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is:  NO CHARGE!

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked
straight at her and said...  Mom, I sure do love you.  Then he took the pen, and in great big letters wrote:

PAID IN FULL!!

New Beginnings

Each Spring I look around as the new buds begin to bloom, the grass turns a bright, and tender green.  The birds are busy building new homes for their young.  All around us are signs of a new beginning.  This year Spring brought a new surprise for me... The end of my marriage, and a new beginning to a life I have never known... one as a single father, and a divorced man...  Having spent a third of my life married to my best friend & lover, it is difficult to find myself, and know where or what to do now...  I have always had my wife there to share in the good things, the bad things, and just knowing she was always there for me...

I have always been told that marriage teaches you so many lessons; you learn now to be accountable to someone, you learn to trust another person with your life, and theirs with you, respect, honesty, and so much more.. It is my belief that divorce teaches you many more valuable lessons...  Never take your spouse for granted, value the trust and love you both share, once it is gone, it is almost impossible to build again.  One of the most important lessons learned, is forgiveness.  It is not easy to forgive your spouse for the divorce, the years of hurt, of loss and broken trust.  Forgiveness is the key to starting over, you must forgive not only your spouse, but yourself as well.

Since my separation a few months ago; I have learned the value of therapy and counseling.  Having someone to talk to that is not emotionally attached to the situation, and not bias to either party has proven to be a great asset.  I recommend anyone having issues within their marriage or relationship to seek help thru a counselor or therapist.  Do not make the crucial mistake of talking to family members, or mutual friends of your spouse about the problems in your marriage.  This will only lead to more hurt feelings arguments; plus you often get the wrong advice anyways...

What about the children?  A question many couples do not consider, they are so caught up in the hurt, anger and disappointments of the loss of their marriage they do not notice how it effects the children.  No matter how much you may try to protect them, the children go thru the divorce too, but on a different level.  Be mindful of how you conduct yourself around your children. Don't talk down your spouse in the presence of your children to anyone, and especially not to them.  No matter how you may feel about your spouse, it is your duty to continue to love your children, and protect them.  Remember, your children may even start acting out, unwanted behavior is often how children cope with negative change.  Be patient with them, talk with them, let them know it is ok to be angry, but have some ground rules and consequences in place if those rules aren't  followed.  My wife and I have tried hard to remain on speaking terms, and even friends. We still spend time together with our son, Jaxon to help ease him thru this transition.  I love my wife, more than anything, and one day we may be back together, only God knows what our future holds.

I hope this blog has been of some help to someone, I will be writing more in the future on these topics, and sharing ideas.  If you have questions, or comments on this post... Please email me, plaintruth04@gmail.com   I am not an expert on divorce, marriage and relationships, but I do have experience in all three areas. :-)

Until next time, God Bless!

Jesse Adams, Blogger
The Plain Truth

One Boy, One Girl

Lately, I have been thinking about my marriage, and the ups and downs my wife and I have encountered in the past 9 years, and where we are now.  I remember when I first met my wife. Joy, as if it was just yesterday.  It was Thanksgiving of 2001, at the Jersey Holiness Church fellowship meeting.  The church I was attending at that time had come to show our support during the fellowship services.  It was on that Friday after Thanksgiving as some of the young unmarried folks were gathering after service and deciding on where we would all go out to eat at.  There was about 9 of us total in the group, a mutual friend was actually trying to introduce me to a single young lady in the group. (not Joy).  I was not really interested in her, I did however take notice to a certain, reserved young lady sitting at the other end of the table. She didnt speak a word during the meal, at least not to me, but something about her struck my interest.  I began to ask questions to my friend as to who she was, was she dating, etc.  I was told she was a great person, only about 17 years old, a good christian young lady, the daughter to one of the deacons in the church.  I had to know more, and to get to know her.  All the next day, I thought about her, and watched for her to come into the church the next night for service.  There she was, radiant, beautiful, and appeared slightly nervous all at the same time. After service, we once again gathered to go eat, this time we rode with Joy.  There was four of us packed into her little car, she was driving.  Which that is a totally different topic, yes she scared me..  haha.  That night we sat next to each other at the Chinese Palace buffet joint.  We chatted about nothing really, but did exchange email addresses, phone numbers, etc.  That was the last night I saw Joy until January 17, 2002, at which time I made the 90 minute drive to visit her church. I spent the weekend with a friend, and attended church with them on Sunday.  After the morning service, I had the pleasure of meeting her mother, and younger brother. Her father was operating the sound booth so I didnt meet him at that time.  I knew little about her, or her family, but knew she was special enough for me to get to know more.  From that time I would come over to visit several times a month.  I would usually spend the Sunday afternoons with her family.  They were all wonderful, and opened their home to me.  We didnt get to see each other during the week as she moved to north Ga to her sister's so that she could attend college.  We sent emails, spent hours talking at night, and learned more about each other.  I had already started praying, seeking God's will in this blooming relationship.  It wasnt long till I knew I had fallen in love with Joy.  I would spend the weekends with her family at least twice a month.  We had so much fun, her family was down to earth folks, just like I was raised.    Just about 12 weeks after we started "dating" we were out eating on a Friday night when I told her how much I loved her, and that I wanted to marry her by the next year.  I remember, she smiled and replied, " I would like that too."  The following weeks were a wreck for me, as I prepared myself to talk with her parents and ask for her hand in marriage.  Her father did not make it easy for me that evening, he knew what my plans were. haha.  I came into the den of their home, her mom was sitting in a chair, her father at the computer playing his card game on the computer.  The four of us sat in silence for what seemed like forever.  I finally found my voice, I announced, I have something to talk to you about, and to ask you.  Her father never turned around, his reply was "ok" After telling him that I had asked his daughter to marry me, and she had said yes.  He turned around, a very serious, fatherly look in his eye.  For the next 45 minutes he gave us both the speech about how serious marriage was, something God had created and for us both to seek his will completely.  Finally he spoke the words, if we were certain that we believed this to be God's will he gave his blessings.  Whew!! 
Over the following months many things occurred, We had not set a date for the wedding, other than knowing it would be the following year, Spring time we hoped.  We had to jump many hurdles, and go around obstacles in our way, till it seemed that we would not even get married.  I couldnt imagine the thought of not spending the rest of my life without my best friend, my soul mate.  Finally after much thought, planning, and tears we decided on a simple wedding at the court house in Anniston, Alabama. On January 14, 2003 we made the trip across the state lines to make our vows to each other, and to God to love each other, no matter what, for the rest of our lives.  During the past 9 years we have had many hardships, battles, and yes great times too. For years we prayed and wanted children, and doctor after doctor told us that conceiving was probably not an option, we should consider adoption.  However, we both wanted a child of our own, we prayed for years and begged God to bless us with a child.  Then, in 2009 God showed us mercy, we were expecting our first child, who was born in March 2010.  He was perfect, and has been my pride and joy ever since.  I can not thank God enough for his many blessings. 

Although currently we are facing a stormy battle, one I never pictured us to be in, I am still holding onto God, knowing he will work it out for our good....  My vows to my wife are just as precious, real to me today, as they were 9 years ago.  My love for my wife, and son is unbreakable, I will alway love my wife, and be in love with her always.  I want to spend the rest of my life proving to her that just how much I do love her!!  Please keep us in your prayers as we face and continue thru this current battle.  Thanks