Turning Negatives into Positives

Negativity can sometime seem like an addiction. We begin thinking negative thoughts & find it hard to stop; before we know it, we are stuck in a new negative reality. The first thing that you need to do is trust that you can change your situation. Even if you don’t know how that is going to happen or how things will turn out, trust. If you intend to be positive, your world will become positive. 

A year ago my wife filed for a divorce, this was something I never thought I would have to experience; My entire world changed from that moment.  The months that followed the divorce were the hardest as I tried to find ways to cope with my feelings of hatred, negativity, depression, and anger.  I often thought what good could possible come from this divorce?  I could use my own experiences to help other people, and although my marriage was lost, I could possible help someone else.  Divorce really has been a learning experience for me, it's made me realize the importance of family, relationships, helping others, and making every moment of each day count!  So, thru my divorce, I have found a positive new way to live!  

Feel It

 Sometimes, for the time being, a negative is a negative. Sometimes we need to grieve, cry, scream, and shout. Sometimes we just need to feel it. We need to sit in the darkness of our emotions and truly feel the feelings. You will find that by not resisting your emotions, you allow yourself to fully enter the healing process, part of which is grieving. 



How To Turn Negatives Into Positives

• Avoid ultimatums 
• Think through obstacles 
• Speak positively 
• Reach out to those who think positively 
• Focus on what you are good at 
• Force or encourage yourself to smile and/or laugh 
• Engage in activities that decrease stress 
• Journal positive thoughts 
• Practice deep breathing and yoga 
• Replace a negative thought with a positive one

Just like the lonely princess in the fairy tale who was reluctant to lock lips with a warty frog and transform him into a handsome prince, something stops many of us short of attaining our dreams. Our negative thoughts, emotions, and attitudes can threaten to keep us from achieving all that we’re capable of.

Here are five great ways to defeat negative thinking:

1. Use breathing techniques:

After every few minutes, pause your work and just breathe. Concentrate on your breathing and feel yourself breathe. Enjoy the goodness of things that surround you. If you do this often, you will be more in touch with your inner self and feel tremendous energy, which will purify any negative thinking.

2. Keep a log about negative thinking:

Carry a notebook with you. Whenever you feel that you are experiencing a negative pattern, just note it down along with whatever thoughts you are having and the cause behind them. Then after a couple of weeks, sit down and go through that notebook. Try to find some common themes that encourage negative thoughts in you. This will make you more aware about yourself.

3. Do stuff that you like:

Take some time out from your schedule and enjoy your life a bit. Do things that make you happy. Everyone wants to be happy, but they mostly can’t find time for it. Take a vacation this weekend, go for long walks in the park, go out for dinner or movie, or get a relaxing massage. Just slow down the pace and give yourself some peace of mind.

4. Appreciate the little things:

Learn to see the brighter side of life. Be thankful for who you are and what you have. Keep in mind that no matter what happens in your life, it is still possible to gaze up and behold the magic that is around you. Acknowledge the simple joys of life, like feeling of cool breeze on your skin, or how amazing the universe is. When you appreciate goodness, negativity dissolves away.

5. Spread the joy:

Kindness never goes unrewarded. But somehow we all have forgotten this old saying. It is the greatest medicine that eases aching minds and hearts. When you make someone else happy, you get happiness in return. Generosity puts a sure end to negativity and generosity doesn't have to be always shown. Try leaving the best parking spot for someone else. Or maybe clean up the office lunch room someday, and don’t let anybody know who did it. Doing small things like these will wash away your negativity and you will start feeling good about yourself.

If you can be kind in this way, you release positive energy. Even if nobody gets to know about your generous acts, it will cheer you up and you’ll feel better from the inside. This will make you less negative and you will experience personal growth.  Follow these simple points honestly and you’ll find a huge difference in less than a month.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog, and I hope in some way I have brighten your day..  Remember, with the sweet, must come the sour, life will most always give you lemons at some point in time.. Its what you do with those lemons that matters the most!! 

Love & Peace 

Jesse 

Research Credits: tonyfahkry.com - creativeaffirmations.com, - "Kiss That Frog", author Brian Tracy.

New Beginnings

Each Spring I look around as the new buds begin to bloom, the grass turns a bright, and tender green.  The birds are busy building new homes for their young.  All around us are signs of a new beginning.  This year Spring brought a new surprise for me... The end of my marriage, and a new beginning to a life I have never known... one as a single father, and a divorced man...  Having spent a third of my life married to my best friend & lover, it is difficult to find myself, and know where or what to do now...  I have always had my wife there to share in the good things, the bad things, and just knowing she was always there for me...

I have always been told that marriage teaches you so many lessons; you learn now to be accountable to someone, you learn to trust another person with your life, and theirs with you, respect, honesty, and so much more.. It is my belief that divorce teaches you many more valuable lessons...  Never take your spouse for granted, value the trust and love you both share, once it is gone, it is almost impossible to build again.  One of the most important lessons learned, is forgiveness.  It is not easy to forgive your spouse for the divorce, the years of hurt, of loss and broken trust.  Forgiveness is the key to starting over, you must forgive not only your spouse, but yourself as well.

Since my separation a few months ago; I have learned the value of therapy and counseling.  Having someone to talk to that is not emotionally attached to the situation, and not bias to either party has proven to be a great asset.  I recommend anyone having issues within their marriage or relationship to seek help thru a counselor or therapist.  Do not make the crucial mistake of talking to family members, or mutual friends of your spouse about the problems in your marriage.  This will only lead to more hurt feelings arguments; plus you often get the wrong advice anyways...

What about the children?  A question many couples do not consider, they are so caught up in the hurt, anger and disappointments of the loss of their marriage they do not notice how it effects the children.  No matter how much you may try to protect them, the children go thru the divorce too, but on a different level.  Be mindful of how you conduct yourself around your children. Don't talk down your spouse in the presence of your children to anyone, and especially not to them.  No matter how you may feel about your spouse, it is your duty to continue to love your children, and protect them.  Remember, your children may even start acting out, unwanted behavior is often how children cope with negative change.  Be patient with them, talk with them, let them know it is ok to be angry, but have some ground rules and consequences in place if those rules aren't  followed.  My wife and I have tried hard to remain on speaking terms, and even friends. We still spend time together with our son, Jaxon to help ease him thru this transition.  I love my wife, more than anything, and one day we may be back together, only God knows what our future holds.

I hope this blog has been of some help to someone, I will be writing more in the future on these topics, and sharing ideas.  If you have questions, or comments on this post... Please email me, plaintruth04@gmail.com   I am not an expert on divorce, marriage and relationships, but I do have experience in all three areas. :-)

Until next time, God Bless!

Jesse Adams, Blogger
The Plain Truth